Do you know what I'm really sick of, more than anything these days? Celebrating stupidity. Every day I can't move for more than 5 seconds without witnessing it. And people can't seem to get enough of it either. Jade Goody has made more money that she can count* by being the single most spectacularly stupid woman on the face of the earth, and yet for some reason the NHS won't put her on adverts for contraception. I swear, stick her face on those STI adverts BANG no more teen pregnancies, no more diseases, and an over night solution to the whole teenage pregnancy issue. But instead what happens? This walking monument to idiocy get's more and more money thrown at her, more and more air time, and every one of these fucking morons out there tunes in. Time and time again. And then people wonder we have to dumb down exam papers so much? Gee is it really that tough to figure out?

Cigarette firms have made billions out of this kind of die hard stupidity, and pig headed unwillingness to realise that not only does smoking make you as attractive as syphilis, but will without any shadow of a doubt; it will kill you as well. What happens? Every one of these idiots still sit's there puffing away going 'Golly I must look cool. Hey Joe, how much they put the price up this year? Another 30p a pack? What's that mean? If I smoke we can only afford to eat 5 days a week now? Hmmmm. Hey, you gota light? Think I'm gonna have to have a smoke while I think this one through.'

What the hell happened to survival of the fittest anyway? All we are is jumped up monkeys when it boils down to it. Nature really is pretty simple at the end of the day. Those that do something stupid, that don't dive back down their hole when the predator comes by, that try learning to fly by jumping off the tree rather than starting on the ground, or that sit there scratching their heads trying to work out the hidden meaning behind the line 'SMOKING KILLS'. They die. Quickly. BANG straight out of the gene pool. Why? Because we do not need them. Period. They contribute nothing, benefit nothing and serve no purpose. Millions of years of evolution (sorry fundamentalists) have proven this. And don't sit there thinking I'm cruel. Because let me tell you something about all those people who want to sit there thinking I don't care. Thinking that I'm a cold hearted bastard that my parents should be ashamed of. You're the people who need to be told to 'mind the gap' every bloody morning. Ergo your opinion means nothing. Christ if it weren't for that little recorded voice I'd be walking to work across mountains of crushed corpses from those people who got to the train doors, saw the big black pit of death and just jumped right in. But hey, it's not all bad; at least I'd get a seat the next day. But what do we do about this? We stick warning labels on everything, and pay someone to tell us just because the gap's there doesn't mean we need to be in it. Then we tax the smart people to pay to medicate the stupid ones, and we start suing each other for our own mistakes. It's not right damn it, and it's sure as hell not natural. No matter which way we look at it, mankind is working against nature.

But just as life finds a way to live in the harshest of environments, nature find's its way back into our existence. We haven't quite caught on to this one yet, but it's happening. 50 years ago how many people do you think would have sued someone for burning themselves on hot coffee? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say none. At all. Anywhere. I'm also quite willing to state that most people would have been able to figure out that the fact that boiling water had just been poured into their cup might just perchance imply that it would be fucking hot, and that throwing it all over yourself might not be the smartest thing to do. Equally how many people would have decided to stop dead in the middle of a railway track, just because their Sat Nav told them to? Superman costumes need warning to tell the wearer that they can't actually fly in it? Peanuts contain nuts do they? Electrical appliances shouldn't be used while taking a shower? It'd be a good idea to stand clear of the closing doors rather than leave my head hanging out there would it? Where the hell are we finding the people who need to be told this? But as I said, nature finds a way, and Darwin had a point. But, we're not quite done yet are we. Nope instead of accepting that these things are for our own good, mankind decides to start happily slapping warning labels on everything, and keeps on doing its bit to go against natural selection. And for what good, or should that be Goody?

But despite all that, we've finally reached the point where someone's decided to turn that light at the end of the tunnel back on again. We've reach the marker where we're back to doing our bit to push these coffin dodging, ambulance chasing split condoms back off their cliffs. How? We're promoting cycling in central London. Yup, it's just that simple. Now every one of these idiots…'Was that a red light? Why are all those people walking across in front of me when that green thing starts beeping? Hey, where are all these cars going? Do they know something I don't? They're all going the opposite way from me, what am I missing back there?'

So just remember, every time you see one of these celebrated morons fly through a red light, every time you almost get hit because they've decided that they're above the law, for every car, bus, lorry and truck that comes screeching to a halt when one of these screen lickers takes to the road. Just remember nature finds a way. And in time, the problem will solve itself.

*current estimates put this at approximately £4.30